LeaEtta Duffy

LeaEtta Marguerite Southwick Duffy was born to William Alonzo and Caroline Florence (Wrobbel) Southwick on June 27, 1923, in Grant, Neb. She grew up on the family farm southwest of Kingfisher.

She departed this life for eternal rest on Sept. 4, 2020, in Denton, Texas.

LeaEtta came to know Jesus at an early age at the Baptist church in Kingfisher and later attended Nazarene churches in Kingfisher and Yukon where she and Dad raised their family and volunteered in many capacities: pianist, treasurer, board member, teacher, hosting parties, providing meals, janitorial duties and a myriad of other ways we are not even aware of.

When she and Alfred moved to Denton to be near their daughter’s family, they became the oldest serving volunteers at Denton Bible Church in the children’s ministry. They also delivered Meals on Wheels for many years.

She had to overcome several hardships as a child, one being a severe illness in her early grade school years when she was so ill, she missed a whole year of school.

The second hardship was also related to schooling. With a name consisting of 25 letters, she would laugh as she told us of the struggle to learn to spell her name without repeating too many of the letters too often.

A wound she carried to the end of her life was never understanding why her father left the family when her sister was just a baby and she was 2 years old.

He remained in their lives via mail, but his physical absence left its mark.

Her doting maternal grandparents, Gus & Maggie Wrobbel, stepped in to help their daughter raise their grandchildren and that is how Mom became a “spoiled princess” as Alfred would good-naturedly joke.

Alfred Duffy spotted Princess LeaEtta at a neighborhood party near Lomega and wooed her with the line, “Where have you been all my life?” as they walked to the end of a country driveway and back on a dare from the game “Truth or Dare.”

This was a party our then-very-shy 16-year-old mother had no interest in attending, but her younger sister wanted to go and the only way she was allowed was if big sister went along.

Dad always said he knew the moment he saw her, he wanted to marry her. Two years later, on Nov. 28, 1941, his wish came true.

She was so shy, she didn’t want a crowd of people staring at her, so they eloped with the blessing of both their families.

Nine days later Pearl Harbor happened and Dad enlisted.

She was able to join him in New Jersey for basic training and thus began the shedding of shyness and never meeting a stranger. She made lifelong friends wherever she went for the rest of her life, even picking up a few on the many travels she and Alfred enjoyed together over the years.

They shared an apartment with another army couple in New Jersey and she experienced many firsts.

A favorite story involved the first automatic door she walked through and the wonder of that. During Dad’s three-year deployment to Europe during WWII, LeaEtta moved back to Oklahoma, birthed their first son, Alfred Lee, and sent a multitude of letters and photos of herself and their boy overseas.

When Dad returned, they started their life together on the farm she had grown up on.

Floyd Allan was born three years later and Jerry Don followed three years after that.

With three boys in the house, I guess they needed a break, so Linda Adele didn’t show up for another 11 years.

Actually, they had been told LeaEtta wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again, but the tough farm woman proved them wrong.

While raising children, Mom was also the consummate farm wife, driving the tractor, working cattle, taking meals out during harvest, hauling wheat, sewing clothes, rescuing and raising baby rabbits from the plow, and chopping up snakes that dared enter her yard with a hoe.

From time to time she also held several jobs outside the home as a bookkeeper and inventory clerk. She somehow managed all this while also maintaining an alter ego similar to Eva Gabor’s character, Lisa Douglas, from the sitcom Green Acres (minus Lisa’s inability to cook —LeaEtta was a fantastic cook).

Mom loved beautiful clothes, matching shoes and purses and getting her hair and nails done. Although Dad would complain about her shopping habits, he never complained about the results.

In addition to shopping, her other hobbies included needlework, oil painting, reading, traveling, collecting turtles, thimbles and carnival glass, gardening, buying gifts for her family, sending cards to everyone she had ever met, and never forgetting anyone’s birthday or anniversary. LeaEtta never lost her

LeaEtta never lost her desire to travel and have adventures. At the age of 95 she wondered aloud why we wouldn’t take her kayaking with us.

She instead had to settle for operating a flame thrower last Thanksgiving for a little excitement.

Her proudest accomplishments were her children and grandchildren and staying married to Dad for 75 years before he passed.

She loved us fiercely, warmly and affectionately and with good humor and a big dose of mischievousness. Her love of us drove her commitment to pray for us all until the very end.

She was a faithful fan of all her grandchildren’s activities, never missing a home volleyball game and even had the opportunity to attend two TAMU track meets fully decked out in the school colors.

She also loved chocolate and would hide stashes from us and Dad. In later years, she began to share her chocolate generously with family, friends and caretakers. The stash never ran low.

We are missing her presence, but we know she is now enjoying the company of Jesus and those who have preceded her in death: Her parents, William Southwick and Florence Leonhardt; her husband, Alfred Duffy; her son, Jerry Duffy; grandson Jeffrey Duffy; great-granddaughter Madison Duffy, and sister, Rebekah Geis.

She is survived by son Alfred Lee and wife Arlene of Stillwater; son Floyd and wife Rita of Eagle, Colo.; daughter-in-law Jeanne Duffy of Kingfisher; daughter Linda and husband Alan Chamberlain of Denton; nine grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren and five great-great-grandchildren; sister-in-law Barbara Wilczek; brother-in-law Bob Duffy; and a host of nieces and nephews.

She also made friends along the way who adopted her as a second mother or grandmother.

During her numerous hospital stays over the years, she would instruct the nurses to call her Grandma.

Speaking of hospital stays, we have all lost count how many Mom endured over the years from various ailments, falls and a car accident.

Let’s just say we’re on a first name basis with many of the staff and know exactly where they keep the heated blankets. We would be warned by doctors and surgeons that because of Mom’s advanced age that she may not survive anesthesia or recover.

We always took this with a grain of salt, because she was after all, Wonder Woman, the Comeback Kid, the Energizer Bunny and a Timex watch (takes a licking and keeps on ticking) rolled into one small, frail-looking but tough little body.

She proved them wrong for 17 years. She finally wore that little petite body out and passed over peacefully in her sleep to “that beautiful shore” (even though she never learned to swim).

She never missed an opportunity to tell the people in her life that they were special. We had many moments these last few weeks with her to tell her how special she was to us as well.

Her best one-liner was “Bye for now!” It’s a fitting epitaph for any Christian. A perfect epitaph for LeaEtta. See you soon Mom. You are special.

A special thank you to all the caretakers at Joyful Journey for helping us love her well these last months.

Viewing will be available for those wishing to pay respects and sign the book all day on Wednesday, Sept. 9, 2020, at DeBerry Funeral Home, 2025 W. University Dr., Denton, TX.

There will be a private graveside service for immediate family in Kingfisher at noon Thursday, Sept. 10.

A public memorial will be scheduled at a later date.

For friends and family in Oklahoma who wish to send flowers, we would request you use a local Kingfisher flower shop and ask that flowers be delivered to the cemetery prior to the service.